It is time to open our eyes to how fear could bring out the best in us.
I have found a great deal of humility in fear!
Even though things have been going very well for me lately there has still been some thing missing in my life that I have been aiming for.
I may as well lay it all out…
I haven't been achieving the level of success in my biz that I have been hoping for.
I have known for a while that is it on me.
I am responsible for anything and everything that I am experiencing in MY life! I am the one and only person who is manifesting my experience…
So let's take a look at what showed up in my physical experience that was certainly not something I was desiring…
I once lived in a place on College St. that was BIG TIME infested! I am talking SO infested you turn the lights on, and see Roaches scatter from every corner of the room. It was nasty! So nasty I had issues sleeping. Shoot I even had one drop out of a pant leg… Right after I put them on…
This experience hasn't been nearly as bad. Initially when I saw a couple here or there, I would screech! I was afraid to catch them, didn't want to kill them, but knew I couldn't just leave them be.
I had not yet thought about why I manifested these little critters into my life again. I felt vulnerable… I kept asking WHY ME? I just found this beautiful place a few months ago, my dream loft, and now I am dealing with Roaches. WTF?! My place felt tainted… Truthfully I got a bit paranoid, and started scanning the floor, checking my sinks, counters… You name it!
What you think about you bring about!
I was down in Texas for 5 weeks this summer, and I thought several times… Gosh I hope that the Roaches haven't taken over while I have been away. Before I left it was still a non issue. I would see one here or there, but I live above a restaurant so it is kind of inevitable.
Let me tell ya… When I got back… All of the sudden… It was an uproar. (Still not as bad as my old apartment on College St… BUT more then I ever wanted to deal with alone.)
It messed me up a bit… Not gonna lie.
I have had moments where I have been paralyzed by the fear of them, and I honestly can't even tell you what I was so scared about. They don't bite. They are just REALLY fast! Maybe I was just grossed out… Maybe it is that spiritual side of me that really hates killing anything living.
I am a vegetarian…
So after a few weeks of dealing with this, and being upset by it on and off… I had to do some soul searching.
I finally woke up and realized THIS IS ME!
I manifested this!
Cockroaches keep coming up in my life for a reason. Both in similar circumstances.
The first time they showed up in my life I had just broken up with someone, and moved out on my own! BIG decision for a gal who had only been in Toronto with her bf for a couple months.
The second time… Just broke up with someone as well! Found my dream loft. Felt really empowered by my decision, because I made this decision for me… For my wellbeing…
The parallels were interesting to me… But it gets better. I started doing the research…
In Numerology Cockroach breaks down to a 5, representing our 5th Chakra/ The Throat… The Communication Chakra allows us to see both sides of things. It is the bridge between the mind, and the heart. It also represents balance. Their totem meaning is authenticity, and great strength.
Well things started making a bit of sense to me for what I was going through, but it certainly didn't solve my problem.
I listened to audio about them, read articles about them… Learning they are likely one of the most resilient little beings on the planet. I can see why… They can fit through the smallest cracks, live through nasty chemicals and sprays… Can stay underwater for 45 minutes… Unreal creatures. You could drop a bomb on them, and they would still survive! They beat Dinosaurs! Dinosaurs…
SO whats the lesson?
I have really had to step back on this one, and analyze myself. To do this I used the Roaches as a mirror.
How am I acting like a Cockroach?
After all I had been through in my last breakup… Well that made me REALLY strong, but I really just wanted to detach from my old self… To step into the person I wanted to become, I had to give up drugs, lay off the booze, and remove myself from the party scene!
I had to change my circle of influence, which left me nearly hiding from people because I was scared of what would happen if I allowed myself to be in tempting situations.
Though I had found a much deeper sense of self, a love & value for myself… Met My Love… My Adventure Partner… Though I have been traveling all over the world, and having a blast… I had been avoiding my reality. I have been avoiding stepping into my greatness, and really connecting with people that I could help!
Sure I am producing videos, articles, and content online that serves my audience… Receiving great feedback from people saying that I am effecting how they think, inspiring them to change, and empowering them to take action in there lives… I wasn't allowing myself to REALLY help people out, because I was too scared to get on the phone.
It is nearly impossible to help people out at a core level unless you ask them questions, and start peeling back the layers.
This phone fear was strange because I am extremely comfortable with people! I did hair for 11 years, and was raised in the industry! I will talk to anyone, and invite myself to touch strangers hair. I am not scared of human contact!
This is where the fear kicks in… Limiting beliefs, lack of self-worth, self-value… Virtually the ego feeling uncomfortable of change…
I realized I am here to draw light out of people… TO empower them. All of us are here to bring the light out of each other!
Matt Kahn says that “The biggest dilemma on the spiritual landscape of this world right now, is that Loving Beings don't love as ferociously, as Dark Beings hate and hurt!”
It is time to step out of our fears more then ever… RIGHT NOW!
It is time we connect with our highest, best version of self so we can shift the collective consciousness.
DO you realize the things that make you angry…
The things that scare the shit out of you…
The things that you observe outside of you…
These are the things you need to take a look at in yourself!
Sit with yourself for a moment and really think about the things in humanity that upset you!
What upsets you in your immediate environment?!
For me… The Cockroaches showed up because I have been afraid… I have been hiding in the darkness like a Cockroach… Festering in my own fears, hiding from my greatness!
You wanna know something?
The moment I realized that I got on the phone! I started making calls… I started connecting with people, and building my tribe… I started to detach from the outcome, and went into every call from a place of service! Troubleshooting! Asking people what it is they are wanting? What are their goals? Dreams? How do they want to feel? Connecting on a HUMAN LEVEL!
See that is just it… For those of us who are sensitive… For those of us who feel the pain of the world… It is time we step up, and live through love! It is time we make decisions from our heart! It is time to start connecting with people in a real authentic way! These actions not only shift and shape us into new beautiful beings, but these bold actions shift the collective consciousness.
There is no time greater then right now to take a look at what it is we are fearful of, and start knocking those fears back bit by bit everyday! Forcing ourselves to step out of old patterns and negative behaviours. Pushing ourselves to reach out to others, forget our garbage, and simply see how it is we can serve people who surround us!
There is no “right” time to do stuff! If you are thinking about it… If you are scared to do it… THE TIME IS NOW! That is why you are scared.
Fear means YES! Yes I should do this!
Because fear stretches our limits, it makes us grow, and toughens our skin!
Since I have stepped out of my fear… This Cockroach issue has become less and less everyday.
When you start taking calculated risks/actions towards the things you desire, fear slips away! The ego no longer has power!
Find strength in fear!
If you could just imagine for one second that someone out there is waiting for you to step into your power because they need you…
Their life depended on you…
Your beautiful words, your powerful story could inspire them to make a change in themselves that would effect them for the rest of their life!
Would you step up?
You have so much greatness in you! It is your choice whether you hide it away in the darkness like a Cockroach… Or whether you let it shine so bright that you start seeing the effects you are having in your environment. You start noticing that you see more faces smiling on your commute to work. Maybe you keep finding money on the ground?
Who knows… That is the mystics of the Universe.
If we trust that the path we are on is the right one no matter what… That fear creeps into our lives for a reason… Things start to change. Our belief in love, happiness, and abundance start to become our reality!
Maybe it is time we take a lesson from the Cockroach, and start living from our authentic selves… Find strength, and balance so that we can break away from our fears!
XOxO Love within, love around.
Erin Nicole Bick